Do you ever have those moments where you're expecting something to be happy, positive, or just a down right surprise? And with those moments do they ever just completely flip upside down and become what seems like the worst result that could happen in that situation?
I have.
It just really kills me that whenever I assume anything these days, it always turns to complete shit. Really life? Come ON. I just want a break. I've had so many negative outcomes lately. Outcomes to things that I've truly wanted. I don't think I've ever felt so much want in my LIFE.
Someone wise told me to take things day by day and that's all we can do... but I can't necessarily follow that advice because I'm living on my own and I need money plans! I can't just rely on each day to figure out how I'm going to survive in LA. I can't rely on each day to figure out how to get an agent back into my dance career. I just can't, I'm always thinking ahead.
It's been a sincerely tough couple months for me and I'm actually a great actress so I seem fucking fabulous but on the inside I'm really upset about things but I choose to not let them get me down. I will get through all of this. I will make sure I'm working twice as hard to do what I want to accomplish. I want to be in a dance company, I want to be on a dance TV show, I want to be in a relationship. It will happen. It'll just take some time, some more disappointments, and some tear fests to get me where I want to go...
I just hope it won't take too long.
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